Why people who are good sleepers make better parents
“I was born to be a parent, I never sleep anyway” I would remark and then laugh. I had really believed my own hype. That is, until I became a new parent some 12 months ago.
I was a good sleeper when I was young. My mother doesn’t remember having any troubles with me. In fact, there are countless stories of me having fallen asleep at the dinner table into my mashed potatoes or slipping from my chair quietly onto the floor. And for as long as I can remember, I used to take MYSELF to bed. My parents didn’t beg me or negotiate with me. Shocking, but I liked my sleep!
Somewhere in my early teens it all changed and I started constantly being plagued with insomnia, light sleeping and the most epic dreams that leave me feeling more exhausted than if I hadn’t slept at all. So for this reason, having coped with not sleeping a lot for at least 20 years AND functioning on a daily basis, I thought I would make a perfect parent. I was SO wrong!
Here is why I changed my mind.
Falling asleep takes time
When you are a lousy sleeper it takes ages to fall asleep in the first place and when you are having to get up several times a night to feed a newborn having to RE-FALL back to sleep each time meant I was awake for a lot longer than I could have been. It left precious little time to sleep before the next feed.
I can’t sleep during the day
‘Just sleep when your baby sleeps’ they would say. FAT CHANCE! Besides which, my baby wouldn't sleep much during the day. He could fight sleep for 6 hours at a time and then only have a 30 minute nap (or 5 mins). So I tried to sleep when he slept – oh me oh my I TRIED.
Being woken up against your natural rhythms is hard
There is a HUGE difference between your own body waking you up and some little person screaming you awake when you are actually exhausted and in a deep sleep. And that baby needs you NOW! Not in ten minutes when you have had a chance to wake up a bit.
My body clock is easily programmed
What time is it? 4.50am again – what a surprise! My baby quickly set my body clock to be alert around 4.50am and even when he didn’t wake up I would wake up and lie there - waiting, waiting, waiting.
I became murderous
Well not literally. Sometimes though I just LOATHED my husband because he could fall asleep at the drop of a hat and he could sleep through the baby crying – every time! I was jealous (and still am) and it was the first time I uttered the words “You did this to me!”
Walking around with sleep deprivation is akin to being drunk
'Experts' say that a lack of sleep impairs your abilities the same as if you’ve had too much to drink. So basically most of the time I’m looking after my son, I'm technically drunk. (I have to stress here NOT actually drunk).
Even having to get up twice a night for feeds consistently made me a pure wreck. And it is for all those reasons that I’ve concluded that good sleepers make better parents.
So, I’m glad my baby is a good night sleeper and slept through the night pretty consistently from 3 months because otherwise I would be a complete basket case instead of a just a mild insomnious one.